I’m 39 years old and I’ve never had a woman I love cook for me, besides the women in my family of course. My ex never learned to cook and she never cared to change that. I did all of the cooking, every night. I didn’t complain because I enjoyed doing it, even though there was never any reciprocation. I was good at it too. Still am, but I would be lying if I said that my heart didn’t yearn to feel that love that comes from preparing a meal for someone.
My parents and my Grandma taught me how to cook. We didn’t eat out much as a family and we always made a point to sit around the dinner table each night of the week and share a home cooked meal. Family recipes and traditions have always meant a lot to me. Sure, my mom definitely made some clunkers here and there (pot roast leather and baked fish come to mind), but she always made the effort, because she loved us and it made her happy to do it. She made some great things too. Now that my parents are retired, my Dad has taken over the bulk of the cooking duties at their house. He’s great at it too and he often has me over to eat and share in his creations.
The age old cliche’ that the most important ingredient in any great meal is love was proven true to me this past weekend by my girlfriend (hate that word, what does it EVEN mean)? This was her first visit to my house, in our growing (long distance) love affair.
That’s right, she cooked for me.
We went to the grocery store together on Saturday and attempted to purchase coherent ingredients, fighting to stay focused through the electricity of our intense connection. We have both been through terrible divorces that challenged our ability to trust and believe in the hopes and promises of love, so to feel those feelings again in their purest and most powerful form was a truly transformative experience, at least for me. I sincerely hope it was for her as well. I THINK the feeling was mutual. *wink*
First thing that she did was make me football snacks on Sunday. The fact that she even wanted to sit down and watch football with me was amazing and incredibly sexy. Never experienced that one either! She took it a step further though. She LOVES sports (Hockey fanatic), was actively involved in the game AND rooted for my team, even though I had to agree to root for her team in return (Broncos…..eye roll, amirite?!)
Look, let me be perfectly clear. I am a progressive traditionalist (made that up), when it comes to relationships. By no means do I expect a woman to cook for me and be “barefoot and pregnant”. Gross. I believe that love should be a partnership and that both participants should encourage and support the dreams and desires of the other. You’re only successful if your power can come from your collective strength and commitment. I believe in shared experiences and that boundaries and defined roles shouldn’t exist in a truly successful relationship.
But I digress.
If you truly appreciate your wife or your girlfriend, then you know how incredible it can be to just sit back and watch them be their transcendent selves. You know how amazing it is to smell their perfume in your house, watch them move, feel the softness of their skin and to just be in their presence. What a piece of work a woman can be.
So ANYWAYS……….she cooked for me.
We had a great time on Sunday, especially when we fell asleep on each other halfway through the Broncos game. Hey, who knew they would come back?! Yesterday though, she took things a step further. Amongst the melancholy and infinite sadness of our first visit coming to an end, she decided to prepare the rest of the food that we had purchased, so that I would have meals to eat for the rest of the week. She knew that I could cook it for myself, but she insisted on doing it.
She thought I didn’t really like it.
She thought it wasn’t that big of a deal.
She was wrong.
While I was busy breaking down about the inevitable goodbye, she was opening her heart and making sure that she left her love for me to experience for days to come. While I ran to the store to get a couple of things to preserve the dinners that she created, she was busy leaving hidden notes around my house, to let me know all of the reasons why she loves me. When I got home, the house was full of amazing smells and there she was, listening to her music and being the amazing person that she is, making sure that I was taken care of, even though she was MY guest.
When you’re trying to come back from heartbreak that you never wanted or thought possible, you never believe that you will find love again, let alone find someone who is the epitome of everything that you always wanted, but here I am with that very thing in front of me.
So yes, for the first time in my 39 years of existence, a woman I am in love with cooked for me. She doesn’t fully understand what it meant and I’ll never be able to properly convey that to her, but it absolutely meant the world. She doesn’t know how much I needed it. It’s not about the food, it’s about the love. It’s not about what you cook, it’s about the act of preparing something that nourishes and comforts the ones who have your heart. It is love in its purest form.
So I’ll eat dinner tonight and I’ll say thanks for all of the love that she has already given me. I’ll let her spirit nourish me and I’ll remember how lucky I am for all of the love that I have been fed throughout my years.
I’m hungry for more.
SONG OF THE DAY FOR 9/19/2018